Monday, November 5, 2012

Don't forget the 'I love you' with special people - KansasCity.com

I was walking through the store, talking to my friend in Chicago.

Superstorm Sandy was thrashing the East Coast. I knew my friend was headed to D.C., where much of my family lives, for a baby shower. Her flight was delayed. I had been in touch with everyone to make sure they were fine. But this wasn?t just a check-in call. Arketa and I talk every week. Our conversation lasted about 10 minutes on Monday. Mostly, we talked about how thankful we were that all of our loved ones along the East Coast were safe. We had a few laughs about her daughter?s fascination with ?Yo Gabba Gabba.? Before we hung up, I said, ?I love you.? Like I always do.A man walking by as I said the last three words turned around and gave me a strange look. I?m not sure if he thought I was talking to him or he wasn?t used to hearing the words. I always end my calls with close friends and family by saying ?I love you.?Nothing odd about that, is there? I thought about it. In this new world of 140-character conversations where acronyms like ILY and HB have taken the place of ?I love you? and ?Happy Birthday,? maybe it is.I can?t say I always did the love thing. It started just after college, when I spent a year away from everyone. Every four months I was in a new state, interning at a different newspaper. It woke me up to how fast life changes. On top of that, it was the year of 9/11. I remember cell phones being out all over the East Coast. I called and called. It would be hours before I knew how anyone was. I quickly learned how important it was to give people their roses while they can still smell them. After that, I started telling not just my mama, dad and my sister, but also my best friends, that I love them.Everyone said it back. These were people I had known for years. I never thought about how unusual the exchange might be.My friend Tiffiany said she thought it was sweet the first time she hung up the phone with me after hearing those three words. A native of Detroit, she said the people she knew there were so hard and cold that it wasn?t something she heard much. ?I guess all my friends prior were just very tight about their feelings,? she says. ?But it?s endearing. More people should be expressive like that.? Another friend, Beth, says only one other friend of hers does ?I love yous.? Beth grew up in a family that is tight-knit, but light on the lovey dovey. Still, she finds nothing wrong with telling people how you feel. She doesn?t think it?s necessary to end calls on that note, but she does think it?s nice. This whole thing got me to thinking about how people don?t always tell each other how much they genuinely mean to one another. November is all about giving thanks, and there are challenges this month on Facebook, Twitter and in the blogosphere: 21 days of gratitude. Basically, every day you post a status sharing something you?re grateful for instead of complaining about the little things. I want everyone to take it a step further. Don?t just share thankful updates. Tell the people in your life how much they add to it. Bad things happen. Superstorms, illnesses, mayhem. We lose people, so we have to appreciate them while they are here. Because you never know when the lights are going to go out and your feelings are all you have to keep you company and give you strength in the dark.

Jene? Osterheldt?s column runs in FYI on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday. To reach her, call 816-234-4380 or send email to josterheldt@kcstar.com. Jene? is on Facebook. ?Like? her page at Facebook.com/jeneeinkc and never miss a column. You also can follow her on Twitter.

Source: http://www.kansascity.com/2012/11/04/3898453/dont-forget-the-i-love-you-with.html

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